The Snorkel

It's the guest poop!

Schwartz: While it may be hard to tell from the picture this poo is actually spanning from out of view to out of the water. I was fortunate enough to get one of the only normal looking poos since pledge term started on camera. I don't know what I ate, but it was probably something like foco cheesesteak, collis pasta, or any other menu item that hasn't changed in the last 4 terms.

Welte: Now maybe I am seeing this wrong, but it would appear that the end of that dookie is curved. Actually, to be honest, it looks almost bent. It has nice (read: normal) coloration to it, and apparently some damn good length. But, damn man, how did it actually bend against the toilet (I m assuming Schwartz does not poop in a manner that would allow his pool deposit to do an almost 90 degree bend). Was it just that much mass compacted in there, with thus such a density that it conformed to the curvature of the toilet? Was it like toothpaste on dry ground? Maybe I am just not familiar with basic observational physics, but it seems that he has accomplished something I could not. And that is the sort of man he is. He comes through when others are too weak, when they let you down, or are lacking in merrits of justice and truth.

Not to mention this poop has the sort of fortitude you would expect from someone as dependable as Schwartz. This feces is a manifestation of the dependability we have come to see from the man. I salute you and your curved wonder of a formidable dookie.